The Belated Cumulative Obituary of My Fish

The Belated Cumulative Obituary of My Fish:


Steve:
Oh, my dearest Steve. If fish were boyfriends, you would be my first love. The year that I had you was one of the best of my life. I wrote my first ukulele song about you. I buried you in my backyard, but then I moved away and I do not know what has become of your grave. Life has gone on since you left, but it hasn't been the same. You were a good fish, but a better listener, and a great friend. I'm sorry that my brother killed you when I went away for Christmas. That was pretty lame of him. I've had other fish since you, but none of them will ever fill your shoes.

Stevie (Wonder):
Your black nature and bulging eyes will forever be part of my heart. I am so glad that my brother purchased you for me, even though it was because of his guilt for killing my friend. You died of unknown causes in your sleep and I hate that I never got the chance to say goodbye. I hope you know that you lit up the life of everyone you met. You will be in my heart forever.

Pop-Eye:
Sometimes I still dream about your bad eye...all grey and creepy. Staring me in the face as I try to sleep. But that is really besides the point. I really want to apologize to you for feeding you too much that one time and killing you. You were there for me throughout all of my sophomore year. You listened to me, you loved me and you befriended me. Me? I killed you. And for that I am sorry.

Untitled:
Mainly I am sorry that I never named you. I figured my trend so far of naming fish wasn't going too well and I wanted to try something new to keep you from dying. I guess my heart was too full of my other fishes love, because we never really connected. It wasn't you, it was me. I don't even remember how you died. I think I'm done with fish for a while. All along I've just been trying to fill the void of Steve...I need to accept that he is never coming back. This is probably the worst obituary I have ever written...but you weren't all that special and I'm not going to lie you pooped a lot and that was annoying. Maybe that's why you died. Anyway, thanks for...nevermind. You gave me nothing. I miss Steve.