Why it is Apparently Imperative to my Well Being to Receive my Free Sticker:

On November 22nd I recieved an e-mail from Montana State University. (A college which I have never contacted and have no interest in attending whatsoever.)


Subject: Montana State has no Limits for You...
As a token of appreciation for staying in touch with Montana State University, I recently invited you to request your free sticker to remind you of our interest in having you study here ...  (No, they didn't.)

... ______, I also want this sticker to remind you of some other things ...
-insert impressive statistics about Montana State here-

Learn more by requesting your free MSU sticker right now. And when you do, you'll see that there's no limit to what you can achieve at Montana State! 


I laughed about this for a bit and then continued on with life, forgetting it happened. That is, until November 28th.


Subject: You Deserve This 

Dear _____,

I want to talk to you about the value of a Montana State education ... but right now, I invite you to request your MSU sticker as a reminder of our interest in you.... it's all part of the MSU experience, and I'd love to help make it yours! Keep in touch with MSU and get your free sticker now."

This had become a game that I couldn't lose. I would NEVER request that sticker. But they were good. On December 19th I received  yet another e-mail.

Subject: Haven't Heard From You...

Dear _____,

I haven't heard back from you yet about your free sticker from Montana State University - many other students have already received theirs and I don't want you to miss out. Request your free sticker now!


I was annoyed, obviously. But it was mostly because I really wanted that free sticker. I just didn't want them to take that as permission to continue contacting me. But they kept contacting me anyway. The next e-mail came on December 27th.


Subject: PLEASE READ


_____, I'd really like to send you the free sticker from Montana State University that I have reserved for you.
I have only a few left, so I urge you to request your sticker today and I'll send it right away


Once again I ignored them completely. I was beginning to have a sneaking suspicion that the stickers were not running out like they had told me earlier, because they e-mailed me again on January 4th.

_____,

I recently invited you to request a free sticker from Montana State University as a token of our continued interest in you ...
... but since I haven't received your request, I'm not sure if this is the correct e-mail address.
I believe you would flourish living and learning here. That's why you're among a select group of students invited to request this sticker, which you can display in your locker, car, room or wherever you want.
Follow this link to confirm your e-mail address and claim your MSU sticker, 24/7.


...WHAT? I can display the sticker wherever I want? Oh, good. I'll request that now.
NO.  


January 25th.


Subject: Still Interested In Your Talent...

_____,

I checked my records and realized you never requested your complimentary sticker from Montana State University.

I want you to have this sticker because I think you'll truly thrive here. At Montana State, students like you learn to innovate and create alongside our talented faculty.

I have only a few left, ____, but I'm going to reserve one for you. Would you mind letting me know if you're as interested in MSU as we are in you?

I took this question as license to reply. I had given up. This was a game I could not win.

January 25th

No Subject

I'll take the sticker if you stop e-mailing me.

They never contacted me again after that. And I never got the sticker.